My rant about being a seller on Craigslist

I have made a lot of money selling on craigslist. If I ever planned to have kids, I’d name my first boy “Craig”. Seriously. It really launched me on a path of entrepreneurship.

But like with anything, there are strings attached. And such strings sometimes make me want to quit Craigslist.

Decided I'd put together a set of profiles of people you commonly come into on Craigslist.

The person who always asks “Is it in good condition?” – Much like being functional, good condition is typically implied when you list something and don’t state otherwise. Then, when you mention the littlest nick or scratch they want a discount from the price. When you’re on Craigslist, you’re typically buying used. Unless I wore kid gloves while using it and never let it go anywhere but a climate-controlled, dust-free environment, you’re going to find an imperfection of some sort on anything you buy used. It goes without exception.

The person who always asks “Is it working?” – A counterpart to “is it in good condition?” – it’s quite implied when an item is listed. I wouldn’t list it for the same price as other working ones if it wasn’t working.

The person who is miles upon miles away – If you happen to be situated in the middle of a large city, you will always get people from suburbs that are a million miles away from where you are, asking you to bring it to them. It states quite clearly in my ad where I’m at, if you think it’s an inconvenience to come down to where I am, how do you think I feel when you expect me to take pity on you for being far away from me? It’s not my problem that you live on the moon, and I really don’t appreciate your making it my problem by turning down the deal because I won’t bring it to you. It’s your choice to live out there – and you have to accept the associated realities, such as the fact that only a very small percentage of the craigslist community will even know where your area is, and even a smaller percentage will be willing to come anywhere near you.

The person who always asks “How old is it?” – whether it’s a week or a year old, the general product profile does not change at all. If you like it, you like it. It shouldn’t matter how old it is. You’re not trying to see if it’s the right age to date one of your children, you’re not trying to figure out your compatabilility with the item based on its zodiac sign, and you’re especially not going to throw it a surprise party when it turns x years old. When I say an iPod touch – you know it’s an iPod touch. You know that it plays music, it holds 8, 16, or 32 gigabytes, whichever one I had stated in the ad, you know that when you turn it sideways, it will display the album covers so you can flow through them, and you know that you can install games on it that can function based on the movement of the iPod. This isn’t rocket science. Things like iPods are a commodity. We all know that the iPod touch has been out about a year and a half now, so it really can’t be much older than that, can it?

The person who negotiates the price down on you, and then pulls out a pocket full of cash to pay you – these people are positively sadistic. They want to see you groan and reluctantly accept their offer that they made just for the heck of it. Then, they take out a pocket full of cash, a nice wad of several dozen notes, topped off by a nice pink or brown one. It’s quite clear that they have money – they just get a kick out of getting the best of someone and coming out a winner with a better price.

I actually had one guy while I was running a garage sale I had advertised on craigslist, who went up to me and asked about these speakers I had and what I wanted for them. I said I wanted $5.00. Then he asks me if I'd take $3.00, and I accepted. He paid me with a $5.00 bill! It provokes thought. When you clearly have the ability to pay me my full asking price (which was quite reasonable and well below what I had paid for them not too long ago in the same condition, never having been used) don't insult me by showing me that you had no good reason to negotiate with me on price.

The person who agrees with you on a price and then tries to whittle you down in person – When you’re talking on the phone, you have a verbal contract for whatever price they agreed to pay you. If they make no comment on the price, or no attempt to haggle, it is implied they are willing to pay the full asking price. When they meet up with you in person, they’ll look it over for any possible reason to negotiate in price. “Oh, there’s a scratch here”. “Oh, I thought it would come with a zillion different accessories”. Then they go knocking some bucks off the price. You seemed to be fine with our original price over the phone – what in the heck were you expecting to get that I’m not delivering on now? Then, some of them actually back out of the deal over a $10 or $20 difference. That’s right – they came over from the other side of the city and are actually willing to lose all that time and gas money over absolutely nothing. Not only that, but they wasted your time as well, and they seem to think it’s your fault for not delivering on what you had “promised” them.

The person who offers you an insanely low price – I’m not saying that I don’t negotiate in prices. I’ll negotiate $200 from $250. I’ll negotiate $40 from $50. But I will never negotiate $15 from $60. It actually happened to me! This guy sends me an email, saying he’ll pick it up right away. He didn’t get a response. He doesn’t even deserve the respect of being recognized as a human being for actually thinking he can get away with such a price.

The person who is absolutely clueless about the product that you’re selling them – I had a guy buying a blackberry from me once, and the first question he asked me is, “how do you type?”. There are THIRTY FIVE KEYS IN FRONT OF YOU! God forbid that one of them might actually input information upon being stricken?

The person who asks about accessories they’ll never even use – “do you have a case for this?” “do you have a car charger?” “do you have headphones for this?” – all of said lines are negotiating tools. For some reason it’s protocol to include a case with each and every phone or iPod you might sell somebody. If you don’t have it, then it’s no deal, or you’re going to have to lower the price. You know what they’ll use the money they saved on it for? They’ll spend it on food. They’ll spend it on gas. They’ll put it in their pocket so they can spend it otherwise. They have no intention for using a case – they just want to make it seem as though they need one, and the lack of one seems to justify a price reduction.

The person who claims they can get a better price elsewhere – if you can get a better price elsewhere, then why are you coming to me? If I’m selling you a phone for $60, and you can get the same phone for $30, why the heck would you pay double for it? I once received two emails in a row from the same person regarding two different phones. One said for the first ad (a pair of phones for $120) “I can get these phones for $75. Can you give me a better price?” – the subsequent email for a $100 phone said “I can get this phone for $60. Can you give me a better price?” – I sent an email back to them and said “I got both your emails, and it seems as though you can get some really good prices on phones. Why don’t I buy them from you?” Do you think I heard back from them? Of course not. Because I might have offended them by not taking their absurdly low offer? No. Because that source does not exist? You catch on quickly. They’re just trying to get you to “compete” for their business. Something I’ve learned in business is that there will always be someone selling something cheaper than you are selling it for. My price is my price, and that’s how it is. If you’re contacting me, you obviously have some intention to purchase my product – so don’t go backing out over nothing.

The person who says they’ll call you back, and never do, and then when you try to call them, they don’t pick up – I know it’s a formality to say you’ll call someone back, whether or not you have an intention to do so. But when you’re trying to take something off someone’s hands, your leaving them hanging just isn’t nice. If the product is “too old”, “doesn’t come with the right things”, “isn’t in good condition” or “costs too much” – just say that’s the case. If you tell me you’ll call me back – that means that I will be receiving a telephone call from you, regarding the item in question, within a reasonable period of time. If you say that you are not interested, all obligations, and assumed potential sales are called off. When you say you’ll call me back, and I never hear back from you, it’s only natural that I’m going to call you back. Everybody has caller ID. It’s not like I don’t know your number. Then, when you get all offended that I called you back (or kept trying since you weren’t picking up), don’t tell me that you’re going to call me back, when you have no intention of speaking with me again! If you want me to stop calling, just tell me you’re not interested. Then I have no reason to call you, right?

The person who emails or text messages you a habitual message of theirs with no actual interest in the item being sold - *I receive a text message* “Hi, I’m interested in your BlackBerry. Is it in good condition?” I call them up – no answer. Text them back, “Yes it is in good condition” – that’s EXACTLY what they want to hear. They don’t want to hear anything else. Why? They didn’t ASK for anything else. I answered their question in the best way possible, and you can’t even text me back to say if you’re interested or not? What do you expect of me? What will it take for you just to buy the damned BlackBerry off of me? You saw the ad, you’re interested, you ask if it’s in good condition, and I tell you it is. What more do you want? I’m even taking the liberty of dialing you up for you. And you can’t even pick up the phone when you texted me 2 minutes ago? That means your phone is obviously on, and you’re beside it. Nothing is being hidden.

Person who calls on blocked to ask redundant questions – much like the person fitting the above profile (and the one above that) – they’ll call you and ask if it’s in good condition, if it works, if the price is negotiable, etc. Then, they say they’ll call you back NO MATTER WHAT YOUR ANSWER IS. Well, I can’t call you back because you’re on blocked. So, you’re obviously calling just to waste my time.

Person who calls about a lot of items, wanting only one, and for that one to be at the same price as the unit price in the whole lot – “Hi, I’m calling about your BlackBerries.” It’s a lot of 10 of them for $85 each, so $850 for the lot “I’m interested in just one… it’s $85.00, right?” how lame can you be to price an item in increments of $5.00 when talking individually? When I buy and sell in bulk, it goes down to every dime in the way of precision. Because a $0.25 difference may seem miniscule normally, but when talking about 50 units, that’s $12.50. That can buy you lunch at a sit down restaurant. We’re going to have to reconsider something here. It’s not just the precision in price – it’s the fact that she actually thought that what I sell 10 of them for, each, I’ll sell her one of them for. Then when I told her it’s $100.00 for an individual phone, she got all insulted as though the $85.00 per unit on a lot of 10 was somewhat a gag price, or a bait and switch price. It’s like walking into a grocery store, seeing a 12 pack of juice boxes for $2.99 (that’s $0.25 each) and offering the clerk $0.25 for the juice box because you only need one. They’d tell you to take a hike. So why’s it any different for a phone?

The person who calls you asking if it’s brand new, and if it’s not, comparing how much a brand new one would cost them in stores – “Hi, there, are you selling the iPod?” “It’s $150.00, right?” “Would you take $100.00? Because it costs only $179.99 in the stores, so for $30.00 more than your asking price, I could get a brand new one” – they have NO intention whatsoever in buying a new one. Anybody who haggles like that doesn’t buy brand new. Ever. That also shows ignorance, because there are taxes on that $179.99. Here in Ontario, it’s 13%. $179.99 x 1.13 = $203.39. In reality, it costs them $53.39 more. But as they have likely never bought anything of substance in a store, they haven’t factored those costs in – only what they see on websites and in flyers.

Person who asks "does it have a camera, manual, mp3 player, software cds, over-ear Bose headphones, a professional quality massage pad, a pilates instructor, a high-definition screen, a place to hold your drink with a nice, metallic pretzel bowl, and front row seats to the Raptors game?" -
Hmm… let me think… we’re talking about a $100.00 phone here, that’s off-lease from a large corporation, and is a few years old, and despite what the ad says about what’s included, I’m going to have to give you a big, fat NO. Even though everything after “software CDs” is facetious and exaggerated – it’s not quite far off what these people expect of you.